Double Helix
by Nanaki BH
Summary: ZackxCloud After so many years of wishing and praying, Cloud's heartfelt wish is finally fulfilled.


Disclaimer: _Final Fantasy VII _and all related characters and materials are property of Square-Enix.

Double Helix

By: Nanaki BH

Gentle touches caressed his chest, fingers deftly sliding over a familiar surface. The body beneath him trembled, each touch nostalgic and precious. They knew every curve, every dip, every inch of him that was laid out for him to claim. Their hot breaths mingled as their tongues eagerly glided against each other. When frustrated tears finally fell from the corners of his closed eyes, he became aware that it must only be a dream again, even as the tears were brushed away.

Part of him knew it had to be his imagination. He was only dreaming again. There was no way that he had returned to him. Those hands were his own, their touch an illusion. The fingers that brushed so kindly over his pale cheeks meant nothing. He was just as alone as he ever was and his bed was just as empty. He cried silently, afraid that somebody may hear him and worry again, his tears forming salty rivers that ran down to stain his pillow. He had promised himself time and time again that he would never cry for him again. It was a promise he had to keep making and always broke.

But he didn't want to open his eyes. If he did, he knew that the dream would shatter into the morning daylight and Zack would cease to exist again.

He was Cloud. He was himself.

He ceased to be Zack the day he allowed his memories of him to return. Even though his friends and allies would shower him with praise and marvel at his strength, he knew he was no SOLDIER First Class. To him, on the inside, he was still the pitiful infantryman he had always been. More than failing to achieve his dream, he regretted not being able to thank him. Zack was his courage. Living with their memory only gave him temporary courage until these thoughts returned, then it felt again as if he were a stranger in his own skin.

"Zack," he whispered, finding his voice to be pitifully weak-sounding. "Why. How could you leave me here? Why do you keep torturing me like this?" The words that rolled from his tongue sounded sadder to his ears out loud and he covered his face with the back of his arm. "Either stay with me or get out of my head forever. I know you're doing this to me. I know you can hear me."

"I can."

For a moment or two, it felt as if his heart stopped. His eyes were wide open and staring at the back of his arm, a cold disbelief freezing him in place. It took him a moment to realize its reality. That voice could belong to nobody else. His shoulders shook again, fearing that he was only playing tricks on himself again. He would remove his arm and Zack wouldn't be there. He'd only see the plain white ceiling and its chipped, peeling paint.

"Please," he whispered.

Those familiar fingers curled around his wrist and Cloud's mind still tried to rationalize what was happening, even when he looked upon his face. His eyes widened and his mouth felt dry. Unless he was suddenly also hallucinating, this was finally the real thing; the real Zack, right in front of him.

So many questions flooded his mind; _"How is this possible?", "Why are you here?", "Is this real?" _All of his questions became silenced once Zack placed his palm to his cheek. With the words frozen on his lips and his mind unable to keep up, the only thing Cloud could do was cry. Warm tears, tears he thought were just about cried out, came spilling forth and were quick to be wiped away. Those fingers were replaced by lips; soft, warm, and incredible. Cloud missed them so, so much. Desperately, Cloud arched his back up so that their lips could meet and it was all so real. His fingers threaded in his hair and felt how soft it was, just as soft as he remembered it – right down to the stickiness here and there of hairspray and gel. It was all too perfect.

He wanted so badly to open his eyes again and look at him and see the love in his eyes for him after so long. But he feared what could happen. He felt him, real and living beneath his hands but knew that if he opened his eyes during this moment they shared, he would be threatening his existence. "Please," he whispered against his lips. "Zack, please. Don't disappear."

A kiss as warm and as delicate as the sunlight itself was placed to his forehead and Cloud heard him chuckle softly. "How could I possibly leave you alone when you're acting like this?"

_"Zack"_ was the only thought that pervaded his fogged head and he finally opened his eyes. When his eyes met Zack's, they held him transfixed. They glimmered with their own artificial glow and still carried the same deep affection he saw in them so many years ago.

"You look just the same as the last time I saw you," Zack said with a bright grin, pressing their foreheads together. "Still a crybaby. I always did like that about you."

Cloud was still too shocked and overjoyed that he didn't have enough room to feel offended. "Stop it," he laughed through his tears. "Don't say such embarrassing things."

"My bad. You know I'm terrible with words."

Shaking his head, Cloud simply placed his hand to his lover's chest. Where he expected to feel the strong thump of a heartbeat, he felt nothing. Yet he was warm and still looked and felt so alive... When he felt the hand on his chest falter, Zack knew what had crossed Cloud's mind. He closed his hand over Cloud's reassuringly and gave it a squeeze.

"Sorry, I'm on loan." Zack could practically see Cloud's heart breaking behind his brilliant blues. It wasn't his intention to make Cloud sad again. "I... I mean... It's kind of like I exist as long as you exist."

Cloud weakly curled his fingers in Zack's shirt, taking hold as if it were to prove he were grounded in reality. "But... Why?"

Sighing with a content smile, Zack lay down next to Cloud in his bed and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I missed you," he said. "Never think I had abandoned you. I wanted to be with you so much and I could see how much my absence hurt you inside. The Planet needs me but it needs you too. That's why..." Cloud seemed to relax but only clung to him tighter then, like he'd never let him go.

"Zack," he whispered, "Zack, Zack, Zack."

He looked up just to look at him, to see the face of the man he loved and had never stopped loving for the years they had spent apart. The light that filtered into the room from behind him framed his head delicately like a halo. Sniffling and rubbing the back of his hand against his tear-stained cheek, Cloud lifted a hand to touch Zack's face.

"You look tired," Zack murmured, turning slightly to place a kiss to Cloud's palm. Cloud only mumbled something in response and closed his eyes.

For once, he was able to close his eyes and sleep uninterrupted. No one tapped on his thoughts through dreams nor whispered things in his ear about who he should be or what he should do. For once, with Zack laying peacefully beside him, he never felt as much like Cloud and yet so complete at the same time.

Author's Note: I held onto this fic for a while, not sure if I should share it. For the longest time, I remember people writing similar stories with endings that aren't as happy. Like, Cloud finds out it was all a dream or they're actually both dead or something. In this instance, I just wanted to see it come true for once. Call it a flight of fancy, I don't care. I just wanted to see it. XD


End file.
